


Needing you

by Whoyouarex



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fear, Flashbacks, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 12:12:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7102876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whoyouarex/pseuds/Whoyouarex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thinking about prison has sent Rob into tailspin, will he ever confide in someone? </p><p>My fixer upper for 3/6/16, as I thought they were going to get WAY more screen time then they actually did! Comments & feedback much appreciated!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prison?

Prison? Actual prison. Robert held his head in his hands, sitting on the sofa at the cottage. He had opted to go home instead of staying with Aaron. He had sorted his relationship with Liv, which was great, but now he had this other worry. Prison? What if he actually had to go to prison? He was the definition of the word bravado. He wouldn't cope in there, not for 5 minutes. He was good with manipulation, good with business, good with words, but he wasn't great with physical violence. Or withstanding it. He absent mindedly placed his hand where his scar was from the gunshot that felt like forever ago.

He needed to be strong, the writing wasn't on the wall yet. He didn't want to scare Aaron or Liv, Liv hadn't meant to do what she did, she was a kid, a kid who wanted her brother to be just hers. 

it actually kind of reminded him of how he could be, throwing money at a situation/person he didn't like much. Fifty grand was a bit extreme though, a hit would be less expensive. He chuckled a little and poured himself some whisky to try and dull the panic that had taken over the majority of his thoughts

It was pure delusion to think he would be able to sleep. Thats how he operated, by playing it cool in the daytime then using the evening to unwind, or fall apart. Tonight for the first time in a while, it was going to be the latter.

He knew Aaron had to be there for Liv, but sometimes he needed him. Just for a reassuring hug, just to remind him that someone was on his side, but Aaron had to be on his families side, and he wasn't family at the moment. He felt selfish even thinking it, the amount both him and Liv had been through in the last few months, and he was thinking about himself again. But he was the one who may be going to prison, it was ironic really. All of the bad things he had done, he glided away from without a care, the one time he tries to protect someone he loves more than anything, open his wallet/heart for the right reasons, and its probably going to be the battle he loses. Gotta love karma.

He ran a hand through his hair, not even hearing the door go. Adam and Vic came through, Adam stretching his hands above him in a yawn, clearly not noticing anything out of the ordinary, his eyes were glazed, telling Robert that they had probably spent the evening in the pub

"I'm going to bed babe" he said, starting to climb the stairs, the sound of his yawning descending with him

Vic took a quick look at her brother "ill be up in a minute" she responded, switching the kettle on and looking Robert up and down, narrowing her eyes. Something wasn't right there, she was determined to know what

"you ok?" she asked, knowing the answer would be a lie, as the answer to that question so often was with most people. And most people weren't as emotionally stunted as her brother

"yeah, absolutely fantastic"

"whats up?" her brow furrowed, as his expression didn't change, his eyes were cold, as if he was trying to focus on anything but this conversation

"nothing, honestly don't worry" he gave a kind smile, but it didn't reach his eyes

"is it Aaron related?" she raised her eyebrows, giving him a knowing look

"maybe" he smirked a little and poured more whiskey, trying to give the impression it was a small matter. Vic could read him and he didn't want that right now, his defence was down

"and thats helping?" she gestured at the glass he was now pouring a generous measure into, her eyes following his hands

"it is" he replied, taking a small sip of the liquid and smiling a little, before grimacing when he thought she wasn't looking

"you can talk to me you know" she walked back over to the kitchen, preparing a tea, which she eventually dumped in front of Robert "you'll thank me" she smiled with a wink, touching his shoulder and rubbing his back, trying to relax him, relieve him of whatever trouble he had talked himself into now, "whatever it is you should tell Aaron if not me, don't suffer alone" her eyes widened at the last part of the sentence, to accentuate that she meant it, it was the first time their eyes had connected throughout their whole exchange

Robert gulped a little, surprised at his sisters solidarity. She didn't even know what it was, and she yet again, had his back. He touched the hand that was on his shoulder, squeezing her hand in an uncharacteristic display of affection

"thanks Vic"

"Always" was the typically warm response, and Vic disappeared to her room. He wished he could tell her, she was the one member of his family not to hate him, not to judge him. She wanted him to live his life with whatever made him happy, and he felt like she was the only Sugden who actually unconditionally loved him.

She watched him from the top of the staircase, urging him silently to go to Aaron. She had seen her brother in a new lease of life since he had become official with Aaron. Before, he would of just downed the bottle of whisky and passed out to forget his problems, but he was slowing down a little bit, sipping her tea, his eyes were darting around the room, the window, his phone. He needed someone. She smiled, she used to think he was emotionally constipated. Turns out it just took a certain someone to drag the emotions out of him, even if he was initially kicking and screaming. After 10 of the longest minutes of her evening, she saw her brother set the tea down, screw the top back onto the whiskey, and walk away from the house, his key being shoved into his pocket.

He was learning

______________________________________________________________________________

Robert sat on a bench in the village, the cold air around him rippling, it was oddly soothing. The whiskey hadn't completely worked, while he felt pleasantly tipsy, it hadn't edged off the worry the way he wanted it to, not the way it did whenever he had had problems with Chrissie. Those problems had felt so big before he had met Aaron, but now it didn't even feel like the same universe

"Rob?" came a distinctive voice, from the pub. The light outside had just been switched off. The blonde sighed, the last thing he wanted was Aaron now. He was drunk, he was worried, and due to the volume of whiskey consumed, he didn't have much of a filter right now.

He did not want to worry the one person in his life who actually saw him as a pillar of strength. He tried to shrink onto the bench, hoping Aaron just thought he was seeing things. Maybe his sub conscious had wanted this, or why else would he of parked his non sober self on the bench outside the pub

"you know, carry on and you'll actually fall off" an amused voice sounded, and as clear as day, Aaron was standing in front of him, arms folded

"you were just over there" Robs confusion made Aaron smile even more, his smile spreading to his eyes as he watched Rob point with his hand, as if to make his point clearer

"i was about a ten second walk away. what are you doing out so late?" his voice was laced with concern

"same could be asked for you?"

"Had to lock up, mums having a date and Noah had a nightmare" he shrugged. Rob sunk even further, although a part of him was glad that Noah actually had taken the conversation earlier in. Little git thought the acidic messages he had been sending were ok. Although, his mother was Charity, who wasn't known widely for her kind nature.

"ah"

"so whats with the drinking" Aaron crossed his arms across his body warmer, getting straight to the point. He saw the dark circles under his partners eyes, and was genuinely concerned

"I've been drinking tea thanks" Robs eyebrows raised in a way that would of been comical to anyone but Aaron

"you smell more of booze then the pub does on Christmas Eve, don't kid a kidder" Aaron smirked a little, then his expression changed back to concern "your scared aren't you" he said, more seriously, his brows knitting together, trying to work it out. He remembered his stance after he had come back from the station. His pale face, the way his hands clasped together, twisting and turning, the way they were right now

"what, of going to prison? no, i cant wait. might buy a jumpsuit now so i can get one that suits my figure" was the sarcastic response, paired with an eye-roll. Thats when Aaron knew it was bad, the defence was up, he would of expected this last year, but not now. They were meant to be being open, honest. It was meant to be different this time, they were meant to talk about the feelings. Though, admittedly he needed his feelings dragging out of him

Rob sighed, then clasped his hands together "the thing is Aaron, nobody has my back in this. if I'm in prison, I'm alone. Like not, small disagreement alone, actually alone. Ill die in there" his head had landed back in his hands, one of them raking through his hair again and again "and the last person who needed to hear this was you" his tone was frustrated, exasperated

"Why?" Aaron was taken aback by most of this statement, but the last bit was the most startling

"because you don't need any extra crap in your life right now" was the simple reason. Rob had crossed his arms, his eyes scanning the sky above him

"your not extra crap Rob" Aaron sighed softly, his hand on Roberts back, finally starting to compute what was going on

"you've got a family Aaron, you need to do whats right for them"

"if you haven't noticed, i consider you family" the brunette replied, softly but fiercely, shaking his head. How had he missed him being this insecure? He knew Liv had pressured things slightly but he thought that was getting better, bar the whole Ryan situation

"i don't feel like it at the moment" was the retort. 

Aaron sighed, knowing this was a reference to the past few weeks. it had been an adjustment, it had been hard, but he thought it was all falling into place. but that was for him, he hadn't thought about how Robert potentially felt. He closed his eyes, thinking about it all

"you cant go to prison for me, ill stop it-" Robert turned to face Aaron, shaking his head with a steely determination, he had taken it the wrong way, he kind of knew it was going to happen. He was going to blame himself, but that wasn't what he was trying to get at

"i don't regret what i did for you- don't make this your problem" his voice had turned business like, his eyes widened "don't think I blame you for a second, I did it-"

"when are you going to get it? it is my problem. your problems are my problems because I love you, you idiot" the last bit slipped out without Aaron realising, he had blurted it out in frustration.

He had been holding that back for a while. but it seemed to be a stimulant for Robert, whose head had jerked up, his eyes swimming with hope, he looked a little surprised

"you do?"

"how do you not know that?" Aaron shook his head, exasperated, taking Robs hand into his "i always have, probably always will - i haven't said it in a while, but I guess I thought you already knew" he smiled in spite of himself. it had been the first time when they had actually been in a relationship that he had said the L word. it felt more official, it felt right, it felt like saying it had gained more of Robert's trust, his eyes glowed as he looked at him, a glow that he didn't have minutes ago. 

He saw Rob gearing up, he was going to tell him something important, he could tell by the way the other mans breath hitched, his eyes widening as he started to speak, he was struggling, his voice shook 

"Aaron i got a hit placed on me just around here, it'll be easier for them inside" he said, in a serious tone, his eyes reddening a little as he struggled with his emotion

"a hit?" their eyes met, and rob glanced at his chest, the wound - "you know who it was, don't you?" his face was a picture of confusion, Rob usually would of kept his mouth shut then, but a mixture of being slightly drunk and hearing Aarons admission of love had removed pretty much every guard he had up

"Andy-"

"it cant be, he had a proper alibi" Aarons brow furrowed, but Robert was already shaking his head

"him and Ross had a deal. ross shoots me, he shoots pete. he gets rid of me, ross gets the girl. apart from andy didn't want to do it, but it was too late-" he hadn't meant to say it so quickly, blurt it out. But maybe if he hadn't, he would never of said it 

"Ross?" Aaron shook his head, it made no sense to him

"it doesn't matter- nobody would care. Your mum would probably send him flowers" he chuckled dryly 

"yeah, it does, I care. I really care. Rob- we need to tell someone- DS Wise" Aarons face had turned slightly red, anger rising within him. Andy? The golden boy, the one who was always so determined to rain on Robs parade

"the case is closed, Ross knows I know, he also, thanks to Andy knows a little too much. And I don't fancy being inside with my shooter" he sighed a little, looking back at the sky.

"what a mess", he commented, after silence fell upon them

He felt his body start to shake a little as he grappled with his emotions. He had still managed not to cry out, but he was struggling to hold it together, he was struggling to breathe almost 

he felt a warm hand on his cheek, stroking softly, so gentle that it was barely a touch, but his breath was coming back to him, it was calming him down

"I've got your back" Aaron voice dragged him back to reality "i know it hasn't completely seemed like it, but i know everything you've done in the last few months- for me and with me" he pulled Roberts face closer to his, placing a soft kiss on his lips. 

Rob smiled for a moment. Aaron didn't usually initiate any physical display of affection, he hadn't for a while, unless the ill fated park moment was considered. Aaron pressed their foreheads together before kissing him again, one hand snaking behind his partners back, the other still cupped around his cheek. He was creating a bubble around them for the moment, something that only they could exist in

"god i love you" was the response from the blonde, who pulled Aaron into a hug, Aaron pulled his arms around Rob, until they couldn't physically be any closer. he recognised what his boyfriend needed, and it wasn't a tea, a lecture or even sex, it was comfort, it was someone who promised themselves to him

"its going to be ok" Aaron pressed a kiss to Robs forehead, his arms still wound tight around his back. he felt the other man sigh in a content manner, finally allowing himself a normal breath, and his head staying still on Aaron's shoulder. the worry of the day seeping away from him. Aaron smiled softly to himself, things were back on track, better then back on track

All it had taken were a few choice words, in addition to a hug, to calm the notorious Robert Sugden down. Who knew?


	2. Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have always wanted a story where rob is the one who needs protection and standing up for so here I am again, continuing!

Later that night, Aaron laid in bed awake. It was odd, he only didn't sleep when something was niggling at him, something seriously wrong.

He had been expecting it a little when things were unresolved with Robert, but that was better now aswell. 

________  
FLASHBACK

His arms still wrapped around Robert, he stroked his hair a little. He heard Robert stifle a small yawn

“lets get you to bed” he smiled, affectionately ruffling his boyfriends hair. it felt odd to be the one doing this, the one comforting

“yeaaah” the blonde sighed, breaking away and feeling the cold hit him straight away, he shuddered then stood, starting to turn as if he was to make his way to the cottage

“where are you going?” aaron kinked an eyebrow upwards, closing the gap between them once more, wrapping one arm around the taller mans waist. He knew he was a little drunker then he was letting on due to the fact he was swaying a little as he walked. he was met with a surprised expression

“i mean, i could of kipped on the bench” his voice was quiet, but the sarcasm was there 

“your coming back with me” . That was the final decision. For once he had the authority, he felt Robert wrap his arm around his waist, pulling them together. It was pretty special for him to know that Robert trusted him, normally when he was vulnerable he lashed out, or drank himself stupid alone. He was letting him look after him, that was big. 

END FLASHBACK  
__________

He smiled down a little at the sleeping figure. 

Usually it was his head nestled into Rob's chest, his arms wrapped around Rob's torso, him sleeping silently, the pain from the day seeping away. 

He ran a hand through Rob's hair, hearing a muffled “mmm”. 

His arms tightened and his sleep deepened. It was odd being the one sitting up, he heard and saw everything. He heard the way the deep steady breaths started to hitch, the arms around him getting tighter, his head even peered up at one point, his breath getting faster and faster, then slower again. 

His hand suddenly was taken and moved. The snore he heard confirmed that his boyfriend was still asleep. He looked to see where his hand had been moved, the hand that was now entwined with Rob’s. The hand that was held to the scar on Roberts chest. He used to love watching Rob sleep, back in the affair days. It was the only time he really felt like he was relaxed, completely in his own world. He always looked so at peace, a soft smile always dragged across his features, a smile that never appeared on his face in the business world, of the world of the Whites.

That same lazy smile had been there for the first hour of his sleep, but was now replaced with a straight face, a weary face. It was the first time he had really got to see Rob in the last few days, the first time he actually got to check in with him. The circles under his eyes were dark, the expression on his face bordered on being a frown.

The prison threat seemed to of really got inside his head, resurfacing memories. Aaron sighed and rested his head against Robs, desperate to protect him. He knew Andy had a little bit of a mean streak, and where Robert was concerned, he usually had the right.

But to get Ross to shoot with intent to kill, and to let him rot in prison for it. That was not ok. The fact his boyfriend now wasn't going to sleep through the night properly for the next couple of weeks, while probably pretending he was ok in the day, was not ok. He was sick of the world pushing him, and everyone he loved around while he sat and watched. He was not watching someone else he loved tore apart.   
________________________________________

It was early morning, around 7am, Aaron was jogging. he didn't get much sleep, he was trying to work things out. Work Andy out, work Ross out. Work prison out. If Rob went to prison, he would never forgive himself. He was wound up and was trying to wind down, he needed to be strong for Liv, and he wanted to be strong for Robert. Their family. 

His eyes narrowed as he saw Andy and Chrissie, Andy was in the doorway, his arms snaked around Chrissies waist. They looked happy, they had moved on. They had been allowed to move on. He was fighting with the urge to have a chat to Andy, he knew Rob wouldn't particularly want Andy to know he knew, he didn't want any anymore fuss. Something that was very odd coming out of Roberts mouth. He looked over again, and closed his eyes. He saw himself in prison, for months. He saw Rob, in a coma, he saw Rob, actually thinking he had done it, thinking the one person his heart had truly been with, had hated him enough to try and kill him. 

He was fighting a losing battle, he could not walk away

“Andy!” he shouted, despite his best efforts to keep his head down. Chrissie shot him an annoyed look which he returned, she walked away, shaking her head. He looked down, waiting for Andy to approach. He shoved his hands in his pockets 

“blimey mate its only half 7, keep it down” Andy half laughed, jogging over to him. The haunted look that used to be behind his eyes, it was gone. He looked jovial, he looked happy. Just the other day in the pub he had heard him telling Vic that Rob was a waste of space. The anger surged again

“I cant believe you” he said, his voice reduced to a hiss. A dangerous look flashed in his eyes, one that wasn't recognised by Andy 

Andy's face fell. Unlike Robert, even if you didn't know him well, you could read Andy's feelings. His eyes met Aaron's, swimming with confusion

“what rubbish has my compulsive liar of a brother been feeding you now? You know, i thought you were better then going back there-he’ll dump you when he's bored” Andy stifled a yawn and shook his head in the same dismissive way Chrissie had earlier. He hated it, the way they acted like they were so much better. Robert at least admitted his faults and didn't pretend to be a saint 

“you don't mind sleeping with his ex wife though, do you? I suppose you get a pass ” Andy's eyebrows raised, he blinked a few times

“Aaron, i thought we were alright you know- despite Rob, i thought we got on- we were mates” he seemed genuinely surprised 

“we did, but the thing is, I don't like fakes, Andy” his breathing getting faster, a tell tale sign that he was getting angrier

“are you ok?” Andy looked concerned, crossing his arms together and taking a small step towards him. Aaron responded with a hollow laugh

“you actually think I'm mental don't you, you don't have a clue what i could be talking about” 

“no, I don’t. i think that twisted brother of mine has got inside your head” he tutted and turned away, bored of the conversation that seemed to be going nowhere 

“how can you stand there acting like your so much better? you arranged for him to be shot and killed” aaron’s tone was low, but the anger was unmistakeable, he saw andy’s eyes expand, he was obviously shocked that it had been mentioned to him, he shocked himself, he hadn't meant to blurt it out that way 

“mate-“ he started, holding his hands up 

“i know you hated him, but to have your own brother killed, really? and you were what, just gonna shoot pete?”

“i realized i couldn’t”

“so you could still watch your own brother almost die, and watch me almost go down for it” he couldn't believe it 

“I didn't want to” was the quiet reply

“what part” 

“watch you go down” he would of preferred him to say he didn't mind him going down. But for Andy, seeing Rob die was the preferable option- 

“so you were happy for rob to die were you?” 

“you hated him back then, why are you so concerned now? I'm pretty sure I heard you actually SAY how much you hated him, that you wanted him dead” Aaron watched his hands as they started to shake 

“i wouldn't of wanted him dead, even when I said that I never actually  
hated him, and I would never, ever of tried to hurt him. I'm bothered because that night now is going to stay with him forever”

“oh come on he's not exactly cut up is he? he's still scamming home farm according to Chrissie, he's got you, he's moving on” 

“hes helping home farm, if your girlfriend actually looked at the business side of things for once she would see thats he is pretty much the only thing stopping the business sinking. And by the way your wrong, he is barely sleeping, because he's scared, not that he would ever admit it. I thought you were better then that Andy, I thought you were meant to be the good one, thats what you and all the others always say, isn't it? ”

“i-“ he started, taking a deep breath, he was going to explain

“you know, the one person whose had my back with all of this stuff with my dad? its been Rob. he's changed. he may of been nasty but he admitted it, he's moved on"

He paused for a moment, Andy's expression unreadable 

"who knew this time last year it would be him who was the good one!?” he snarled, andy shaking his head. Aaron almost wanted him to snap so he could hear an explanation, some sort of defence instead of him just gawping 

“and if you hurt him, or make him feel like he's gonna be hurt, trust me you wont wanna know what happens”

“is that a threat?” andy crossed his arms, glancing at him in disbelief

“its just a warning. I think DS Wise would be really interested in what I know”

“your more like him then anyone knows. he's brainwashed you, I thought you were just a messed up kid with the wrong person. Guess I was wrong”. Andy kicked the mud as he walked away, still shaking his head

“hes better then you, and he's better then Ross” Aaron snarled, watching him go. He couldn't let go of the fear he saw in Robs eyes, or the nightmares. He had never seen him so vulnerable. He wondered how long the nightmares had happened for, how long he had suffered. Rob never had been the best sleeper. 

____________________________________

Rob lifted his head from the pillow, the dull ache of hangover starting to invade his head. He looked around for Aaron, remembering last night. He had finally heard those three words, those words that from that person made him feel invincible. He stretched, before shutting his eyes. He opened them again, peering around for Aaron, who appeared in the doorway

“running?” he asked, confused as the brunettes face contorted into a smile

“yeah- don't worry its not anything bad i was just clearing my head- "

"And?" Robs eyebrows raised as he watched Aaron avoid his gaze 

“Well I saw Christie and Andy"

“Aaron you didn't" Rob started and the other man nodded, ignoring the pleading tone 

"I put him in his place" he said, defiantly 

“Aaron you didn't need to do that” Rob could fight his own battles, but he smiled slightly in spite of himself. He has been defended by the guy he loved, to the brother who hated him. It could be worse 

“But I did” 

“Thanks” was the response, paired with an uncharacteristically shy smile

“now its only gone 8, so I think we can stretch out a few more hours in bed as its a Sunday, don't you?” 

Aaron smiled, climbing back into bed and opening his arms, watching contently as Rob instantly nestled back into the crook of his neck. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head, closing his own eyes. He watched as slowly Rob started to look at him, his expression sincere

"I know I've done some bad stuff but I'm not that guy anymore" he had said, it felt out of the blue considering the mornings events 

"I know" he stroked the blondes hair. He wondered what brought this on 

"When I said I wanted you to rely on me I meant it"

"and I have, these last few months more then you'll ever know"

"thanks for having my back" he turned his head, stroked Aaron's stubble and kissed him. It was a different kiss, a kiss purely about love "I love you" he had breathed as they broke apart 

"I love you too" Aaron smiled his hand rubbing his partners back as they both drifted to sleep again.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first ED story, really felt compelled as I've really fell in love with Robron as a pairing! Tried to stay as much in character as I knew how, please suggest any improvements you can think of!


End file.
